3 Things You Need To Have The Wedding Of Your Dreams

When I talk with couples about their weddings or scroll through instagram reading stories of people engaged and recently married, I notice something. While it’s rarely mentioned explicitly, I have found a trend: many couples long to have both.

Both of what?

They long to have both a happy engagement and incredible wedding day.

I’m not a mind reader, but I can guess that you desire both too. You know what, the truth is you can. You can have both a fulfilling engagement and beautiful, meaningful wedding day. Those two things are not mutually exclusive. In fact, the one can sustain the other.

What I’m not saying

I’m not saying that having both is a piece of cake. Maybe for you it will be. And that is awesome! But for many of us who come from unique family dynamics, tight budgets, trauma, and anxiety (all of which I had during my engagement and wedding day) it takes some extra intentional effort.

So how do you have both?

Friend, I’m serious when I say you can have both.

So how do you get there? Well, each couple’s journey is unique, but here are a few approaches that may help you.


Start with your values:

Sit with your fiance and write out a couple of words that you want to experience during your engagement. Then write down a few words that describe your ideal wedding day. These words are your guide. Let them influence your choices on how you spend your time together, which vendors you choose, and what you prioritize during your engagement. Let them encourage you on your wedding day because you’ve chosen them already and have been practicing these values for a few months now.


Make time for what matters most:

Don’t let what is important to you slip through the cracks. Pencil (actually, use a permanent marker) it in to your calendar and be adamant about having that significant element as part of your wedding day. Whether it be one date night a week where you talk about everything but the wedding or including five minutes alone on your wedding day. Be sure to prioritize your priorities.


Keep perspective:

Let’s get real. Living life is tough and tricky sometimes. Just because you are engaged does not mean that hardship will give you a pass. No, my friend, sometimes really sucky things happen when you’re engaged. Financial hardship, toxic relationships, challenging family dynamics, health concerns. Anything can happen when you’re a human. That’s why keeping perspective can help. While it is so important for you to address concerns and heal from wounds, remember that the hardship or challenge does not need to cloud your entire experience. It’s just one part of your life that you will walk through with your beloved partner. You have a partner now, who can help you carry that load. What a gift that is.

Much love,


Photography by Mela Photo